hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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