please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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