i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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