Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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