dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
