Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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