STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Fuck appropriateness.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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