$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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