She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
