This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
