Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
