its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
