I don't remember. Are we still dating?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
how does that bad decision feel?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
