wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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