Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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