Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
