She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize