New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
