Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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