walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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