The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
