just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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