Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
