Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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