I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
