he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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