Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
