I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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