Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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