Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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