I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
