That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
