im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
