it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
