He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
