i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.