my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i dont even know how to be here
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.