im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.