How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
not ubering you a puppy
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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