i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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