and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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