No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
