It's Friday. Sex?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think we might need a safe word for this...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
