So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The air was thick with penises
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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