lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
