I like my sex mixed with concussions.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
