we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I should be sponsored by Trojan
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
