How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize