Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
