I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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