Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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