I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize