My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
