If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
