Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize