He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
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FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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