When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
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Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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