perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
