Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
